Here goes nothin'....

I've never been one to talk about my weight loss goals/fitness etc. But I need advice and maybe a little pushing :)
The summer between my Sophomore and Junior year I lost a lot of weight, it took most people a few minutes to even recognize me! I felt great and had confidence I have NEVER had in my life!! The thing about it is that I did nothing different with my diet, I walked every night with my mom but that was it. So its almost like I lost all my baby fat haha and were it happened so fast with little to no effort it seems like now it's taking FOREVER to lose anything, I get extremely discouraged!! Anyway, after high school (June '08) I gained a good twenty pounds over that following winter (horrible I know) I knew that I had gained, but I refused to get on a scale!

I finally had reality smack me in the face by my sweet little four year old cousin! I went back to New Jersey this summer to stay with Jamie and Matt. I had no shorts that fit me from the summer before...blah, so while I was there I bought a few pair. Well, I was getting ready for the day and little Mauree was in with me and the shorts were laying on her bed and she said "Wow those are really big!" Then it kinda hurt a little, but now I think it is hilarious!! :) Yes, I know kids just speak their mind and have no intention of hurting feelings. Who knew the words of four year old could get my butt in gear to do something about my weight!! Thank you Mauree!! (I have never told anyone that story before either)

When I got back home I decided that I was going to do something about it! (FINALLY) I had my fair shares of "Ok, I'll start Monday!" or "I'll start again next week" After three months of that I finally just told myself that's enough! I had horrible self confidence which made me depressed. Which made my everyday life a drag! (all I think now is how did Bryce even put up with me!) I want so bad to be back to the "skinny" person I was before!

So since September I have been eating healthier
*Cut out all fast food
*Stopped my IV of Mt. Dew ;) LOL (I still do have a few sips of Bryce's now and then)
*I limit my candy/sweets to just a couple M&M's or Sour Patch Kids a week (This one was hardest for me to do, I love candy!!)
*I eat more fruits and veggies
*I cook with fresh ingredients and don't cook very many prepackaged meals anymore
*I drink at least 6 cups of water a day. I have a water bottle with me at all times, that way I have no excuse to get a pop if I'm thirsty
*I watch my calorie intake

The weight sure doesn't come off as fast as I would like but so far I have lost 17 lbs. And that is with out exercise. I really must have had a HORRIBLE diet! I have stopped losing for about three weeks now, I haven't gained any but I haven't lost either. I can say that it is nice to have people notice that I have been losing, HUGE confidence booster! So I'm gradually getting to feel good about myself again! Off track here but I did pull a pair of shorts out of my summer tote just to see if I could even get them on...when I tried a few months ago i couldn't get them much passed my knees :-/ but I actually got them up AND done up! I still have some bulging, but we're getting closer!!

I do walk/run on my treadmill for 20 min. About every other day. I just hate trying to run on it in our apartment because its right next to a wall we share with the neighbors. I don't want them to think there is an earthquake :) Ok that's no excuse but I hate how loud it is. I can't ever get anyone to go to the gym with me; yes, I know your saying 'you big pansy just go by yourself!' But I just hate going places alone!

So now I need you all to push me so that I can can lose at LEAST 15 more, I would LOVE to go more, but that is my goal for now!!

Whew...sorry if your still reading this long rant haha If you are thanks and I will appreciate ANY advice you have for me!

(*I'm not going to proof read this sorry, but it's five and I want to go home ;) *)